tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3175523999594780142024-03-12T21:55:43.193-07:00Connections: A Blog for Writers and Talkers.Freya Shipleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15650444582239698712noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-317552399959478014.post-20129993382460464822011-05-16T10:46:00.000-07:002011-05-16T10:46:05.410-07:00This Blog Is MovingHi! My blog has moved to http://freyashipley.tumblr.com/.Freya Shipleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15650444582239698712noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-317552399959478014.post-70162833545595581572011-05-13T12:34:00.000-07:002011-05-13T13:24:53.806-07:00How to be a Better Talker: Six Strategies for Writers (Part One) Like it or not, most professional writers are also professional speakers. <br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"> Do you talk with editors, clients, or interviewees? Do you interact with students? Or read your work aloud at conferences or public events? If so, then speaking effectively is part of your job.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"> Some writers love performing. Put them in front of a crowd, and they blossom. But many of us are less than thrilled.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"> “I’m a writer, not an actor!”</div><div class="MsoNormal"> “I’m shy.”</div><div class="MsoNormal"> “I get stage fright.”</div><div class="MsoNormal"> “I just communicate better on the page—my writing is what really counts, right?”</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"> The fact is, your writing may never get read at all if you lack the skills to market yourself orally.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"> This two-part post offers you seven practical techniques to help you boost your speaking ability. Ready? Here we go:</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>1. Slow down</b><span style="font-weight: normal;">. Our ears absorb information much more slowly than our eyes do. If you speak at the same rate that you read, no one will take in what you’re saying. Practice by reading aloud at what may seem like a crazy-slow pace. When you’re having a casual chat, be aware of how quickly you’re talking. See if you can control the tempo.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">If you feel okay about listening to your own voice (for some of us it’s too stressful), make a recording and listen to it several times. How clearly are you speaking? Are you tripping over words or sounds? </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Nerves make <i>everyone</i><span style="font-style: normal;"> speed up. Have you ever gone for a job interview and found yourself babbling? Know that this happens to all of us. Anticipate it. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Once you learn to change your speed at will, you’ll automatically sound more confident—even when you’re secretly sweating.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>2. Listen and react.</b><span style="font-weight: normal;"> Writing is a famously solitary activity. Unless you’re chatting online, you won’t be getting reader responses as you go. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">But talk is interactive. Even someone giving a lecture is constantly getting feedback from her audience in real time. Pay attention to what others are contributing, and let it influence you.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">This may mean something as simple as listening<span style="font-style: normal;"> to what your client is saying, rather than focusing entirely on what you need to tell him. Or noticing when someone laughs, and winning them over by joining in.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">If you find yourself tuning people out a lot, grab a sympathetic friend and practice <i>reflective listening.</i><span style="font-style: normal;"> That’s where Person A talks to Person B, and Person B just reflects back what she’s hearing:</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><blockquote><div class="MsoNormal"><i>Person A:</i> I got invited to a networking event this Saturday, and I can’t wait to jump in!</div><div class="MsoNormal"><i>You:</i> You’re going to a networking event this weekend, and you seem really excited about it.</div></blockquote><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Make a point of asking questions during casual conversations, and really hear the answers. See how many you can remember afterwards.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>3. Breathe</b><span style="font-weight: normal;">. I know—everyone’s <i>always</i> telling you to breathe. But it really does help.</span></div><ul><li>Breathe into your belly, and your voice will instantly improve. You’ll sound more interesting. More energized. More connected to what you’re saying. </li>
</ul><ul><li>Breathe, and you’ll notice your tense spots: jaw, neck, shoulders…. You can start to let that tension go. </li>
</ul><ul><li>Breathe, and everything else gets easier.</li>
</ul><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><i>Coming up in Part Two: “What do I do with my hands?”</i></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
<br />
<hr /><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"> <i>Freya Shipley is a freelance writer with a background in linguistics and history. For a free quote (or just to say hi), visit her at www.freyashipley.com. Follow her on Twitter: @freya_221. </i></div></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div>Freya Shipleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15650444582239698712noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-317552399959478014.post-86620217439900479812011-05-13T12:30:00.000-07:002011-05-13T12:30:17.577-07:00The Joy of Curmudgeon-hood<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-9OCJ43HOE9g/Tc2GPHUCmzI/AAAAAAAAACE/Re0LdoG4Exg/s1600/mr.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-9OCJ43HOE9g/Tc2GPHUCmzI/AAAAAAAAACE/Re0LdoG4Exg/s200/mr.jpeg" width="160" /></a></div> Yesterday I was heading over to Trader Joe’s to buy one of those massive chocolate bars with the whole hazelnuts.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-indent: 0.5in;">There are lots of empty parking places, but this guy in a van in front of me decides he HAS to have this one, particular spot that he’s <i>already driven completely past</i><span style="font-style: normal;">, and he starts backing up right into me as if I’m not even there. I move a little. He keeps backing. Finally he’s about to run into me, so I tap my horn. He leans out of his window and yells, </span><i>“Back the **** up!”</i></div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;">I get out of his way as best I can, given the crowd of cars building up behind us. Mr. Van Guy gets his spot. My whole body is shaking, but I do nothing. </div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div> I had lots of ambitions when I was young. I wanted to be a great Shakespearean actor. Also a rock star. Before that I wanted to be a mail carrier.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Now, I realize, my yearnings have changed. I want to be a <i>curmudgeon</i><span style="font-style: normal;">.</span></div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;">A real curmudgeon wouldn’t have let Mr. Van Guy push him around. He’d never doubt his own right to take up space in a public parking lot. If there was window-to-window shouting going on, he’d give better than he got. A curmudgeon is nothing like a bitch or a shrew, or any of those shrill feminine complainers. He is self-sufficient, grounded in an unassailable conviction of his own rightness. He probably subscribes to <i>Indignation Quarterly.</i></div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;">The problem is, women can’t <i>be</i><span style="font-style: normal;"> curmudgeons. Curmudgeons are always male. Like </span><i>geezers</i><span style="font-style: normal;"> and </span><i>dudes</i><span style="font-style: normal;">. </span></div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><i>Guys</i><span style="font-style: normal;"> used to be exclusively male. Now, at least in the US, we’re free to address a group of women as “you guys”. (I tried this once in Scotland and met with a torrent of startled giggles.) We still can’t refer to an individual female as a “guy”, but the word is moving toward gender neutrality. Could we start a movement to re-gender </span><i>curmudgeon?</i><span style="font-style: normal;"> That splendid word, with its suggestion of bludgeoning in high dudgeon? </span></div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Everything we say to each other—whether in writing or in person—includes a property that linguists call <i>indexicality</i><span style="font-style: normal;">. Indexing means pointing—that is, a suggestion of some social meaning that doesn’t always follow logically from the words themselves, but that is nevertheless perceived loud and clear. Like the word </span><i>curmudgeon</i><span style="font-style: normal;"> indexes “elderly maleness”. Like raising your voice? at the end of a phrase? indexes “young femaleness”. It’s not a rational thing, but we all do it, all the time. </span></div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;">On the bright side, I’m perfectly free to be an old bat. Bats are always female, oddly. The word suggests voluminous capes, probably tweed. Margaret Rutherford’s Miss Marple was a shining role model for aspiring old bats. The word indexes self-sufficiency, nosiness, and a refreshing lack of concern with one’s own sexual attractiveness.</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Still I yearn for official curmudgeonhood. I want to be propelled through airports in a bath chair, laying about me with my walking stick as I go. I want to write fiercely irritable letters to the <i>Times</i><span style="font-style: normal;">, complaining about taxes and weather and the flimsiness of modern paper napkins. </span></div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;">I hereby declare the existence of female curmudgeons. Now move aside, damnit. </div><hr /><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"> <i>Freya Shipley is a freelance writer with a background in linguistics and history. For a free quote (or just to say hi), visit her at www.freyashipley.com. Follow her on Twitter: @freya_221. </i></div>Freya Shipleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15650444582239698712noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-317552399959478014.post-88709361354067248262011-05-13T12:18:00.000-07:002011-05-13T12:19:49.780-07:00Five Essential Tips for Copy Writers<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-N097Rh3j6AE/Tc2Dgxu8yII/AAAAAAAAACA/BB0SgUpwqYU/s1600/typewriter1304275921.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-N097Rh3j6AE/Tc2Dgxu8yII/AAAAAAAAACA/BB0SgUpwqYU/s200/typewriter1304275921.jpg" width="200" /></a></div> The summer I was ten, I gave a one-girl performance of <i>Romeo and Juliet </i><span style="font-style: normal;">on the lawn in our back yard.</span><br />
<span style="font-style: normal;"> </span> <br />
<div style="text-indent: 0.5in;">I memorized the balcony scene, the potion speech, and (my favorite) the part where Jule is sobbing her heart out over Romeo getting kicked out of Verona. I reveled in the death scene, where she does herself in with her husband’s dagger. I ranted and screamed and wept. I leaped into the air and flung myself onto the grass. I knocked myself out (almost literally.) If there’d been any scenery, I’d have chewed it to splinters. My parents and their friends cheered and applauded. (It was a warm day, and the gin and tonics flowed freely.)</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;">But the part I remember best came later. That evening, after he’d given me a thousand proud hugs, my dad said to me, “You know, Frey, you were a little hard to understand."</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;">“Not loud enough?” I asked.</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;">“No, no, it wasn’t that. How can I explain this? When artists perform, they’re doing it for their <i>audience</i><span style="font-style: normal;">. Not for themselves. I know it’s exciting to have a big emotional experience, but you want your audience to be able to join in. Art is about </span><i>connecting</i><span style="font-style: normal;">—not just expressing.”</span></div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Those may not have been his exact words, but they were close. I’ve never forgotten that moment. </div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;">As a writer and editor, connecting with people is my job and my privilege. I have a friend who composes poetry in Klingon, and keeps all of his work private. For him, writing is a form of self-care—like meditation, maybe. But for me, it’s all about offering something to the reader—insight, companionship, a laugh, or information that may improve her life.</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;">That’s why I like business writing. </div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;">White papers and press releases may not seem as glamorous as fiction. But every one of them is an opportunity to help readers. Each time I sit down to work, I know I’m bringing people together with other people, or with information, or both. That’s what gives web writing its unexpectedly personal edge. It’s about empathy, and it’s about education. No offense, Luke, but I’d rather write one good case study than an epic poem that no one will ever get to read. </div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;">With that in mind, here are my five top tips for copy writers:</div><ul><li> <b>Keep your audience in mind.</b> What’s important to them? What can you do to guide them toward the best possible experience? </li>
<li> <b>Pay attention to the language your readers use.</b> Are they engineers? Marketing directors? Dental patients? Of course you don’t have to learn every bit of trendy tech jargon. But make sure your work sounds appropriate for your audience.</li>
<li> <b>Be consistent.</b> A lot of communication depends on expectations. Don’t promise <i>Romeo and Juliet </i><span style="font-style: normal;">and then suddenly switch over to </span><i>Dexter</i><span style="font-style: normal;">.</span> </li>
<li> <b>Make your work easy to read.</b> Write clearly and precisely. If you have some control over the project design, learn how to create appealing visuals. </li>
<li><b>Whenever possible, learn from reader feedback. </b></li>
</ul><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"> Great copy writing merits great respect. It’s time for us business writers to stand up and take a bow.</div><hr /><i>Freya Shipley is a freelance writer with a background in linguistics and history. For a free quote, visit her at www.freyashipley.com. Follow her on Twitter: @freya_221.</i><br />
<div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div>Freya Shipleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15650444582239698712noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-317552399959478014.post-23330563407857505282011-05-13T11:50:00.000-07:002011-05-13T11:52:07.969-07:00Why the “Birther” Movement is No Joke<i>(First posted 4/28/11)</i><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Kq5IwM5acjI/Tc19ojnUHnI/AAAAAAAAAB8/dTqrolzj3JE/s1600/obama1304042868.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Kq5IwM5acjI/Tc19ojnUHnI/AAAAAAAAAB8/dTqrolzj3JE/s200/obama1304042868.jpg" width="162" /></a></div> Donald Trump and his so-called “birther” movement radiate absurdity. Most of us blog readers—in fact, probably most folks who read anything at all—agree that the whole issue is silly beyond words. It is, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oCUPXG_gWts">as Whoopie Goldberg said</a>, “the biggest pile of dog mess I’ve seen in ages.”<br />
<br />
And yet.<br />
<br />
Trump’s challenge to President Obama—<i>prove that you really are one of us!</i><span style="font-style: normal;">—has attracted worldwide attention for reasons beyond the billionaire’s power to buy media time. Inane as his arguments are, they constitute a serious and sinister attempt to manipulate our perceptions. </span><br />
<br />
Every time people communicate, we do it within the context of a <i>frame.</i><span style="font-style: normal;"> A frame is a group activity. It’s </span><i>what we’re up to </i><span style="font-style: normal;">when we interact. Some examples of frames:</span><br />
<br />
<ul><li>going to a restaurant</li>
<li>getting a medical checkup</li>
<li>playing poker</li>
</ul><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Every frame is made of a bunch of interlocking roles, kind of like parts in a play. In the medical checkup frame, for instance, we expect a doctor, a patient, a receptionist, and maybe a nurse or a technician. Expectations, in fact, are what frames are all about. If you show up for your appointment and the doctor asks you to give her a CAT scan, you know something's gone wrong with the frame.</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Roles in frames are connected to each other. Pick one up, and a bunch more come along for the ride like paperclips out of a jar. Mention a doctor, and everybody thinks of patients. “Waiter” automatically implies someone being waited on. If I can get you to accept my identity as a teacher, you’re halfway to seeing yourself as a student.</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;">That’s the reason why so much of what Donald Trump says is about <i>himself</i>. He’s trying to sell us an image of himself as a heroic investigator, selflessly dedicated to uncovering “the greatest scam in the history of this country”:</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><ul><li>“Somebody has to embrace it [the job no one else dares take on].”</li>
<li>“I have done a great service for the American people.” </li>
<li>“I'm honored. I have accomplished something really, really important.”</li>
<li>“I got him to do something nobody else could get him to do.” </li>
</ul><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;">If he can persuade us to accept him in that role, then the whole “heroic investigator” frame comes along with it. If there’s a noble sleuth dedicated to the cause of truth, then there must also be a villain trying to get away with fraud. And the person cast in that role is, of course, President Obama.</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Yesterday’s events demonstrate how tricky frames can be. Obama chose to respond respectfully to Trump’s attack. He devoted time, attention, and money to defending himself. He published his birth certificate. By doing all that, Mr. Obama tacitly accepted the “villain” role in Donald Trump’s frame.</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;">But surely the certificate clears him of the charge? Didn’t the president just shut down the whole “birther” circus by proving his innocence?</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Nope. </div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;">This is the amazingly sneaky power of frames. Merely by engaging with Mr. Trump’s frame, Mr. Obama validated it. In that sense it doesn’t matter whether he produced the certificate or confessed to being a closet Muslim born on Mars. Either way, he would still be accepting Mr. Trump’s right to question him: thus affirming Donald Trump's frame. This is the same mistake Richard Nixon famously made in 1973 when he told the world, “I’m not a crook!” </div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Give people a new frame to think with, and you can change their minds. That’s why Mr. Trump’s accusations are not trivial. Yes, the “where-was-he-born” furore is absurd. But what really matters is that Mr. Trump successfully reframed himself in relation to Mr. Obama, and he maneuvered the president into publicly accepting the identity being handed to him. </div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><br />
</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Trump won this round. Birth certificate or no, we haven’t heard the last of him yet.</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;">_________________________________</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"></div><b>Video: George Lakoff, UC Berkeley Professor of Cognitive Linguistics, <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_CWBjyIERY&feature=fvsr">talks about frames.</a></b><br />
<br />
Deborah Tannen (Ed.), <i>Framing in Discourse </i>(ISBN<i> </i>978-0195079968)<br />
<br />
<div style="text-indent: 0.5in;">Erving Goffman, <i>Frame Analysis </i>(ISBN 978-0674316560)</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;">__________</div><div style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><i>Freya Shipley is a freelance writer with a background in linguistics and history. For a free quote (or just to say hi), visit her at www.freyashipley.com. Follow her @freya_221b.</i></div>Freya Shipleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15650444582239698712noreply@blogger.com0